Indigenous Worldview (Interview with the Elders):

In traditional societies you would find pre-arranged marriages where the parents of both the young man and woman would gather around and discuss them coming together as a couple.  They would talk about the history of the families and any possible impact the prospective couple’s union might have on their children, grandchildren, or generations to come.

 

If, three or four generations ago, an act had gone unaccounted for, unresolved, or unfulfilled, its delayed results might manifest in the coming generation and have a great impact.  For example, a person may be afflicted with some type of physical ailment - in a sense reflecting the experiences or actions of their forefathers.  These are some of the things that would be discussed to be sure there were no possible adverse situations that might arise from the coming together of these two young people.

 

Also, the history of each of the young people was reviewed to be sure there was virtue in them – to ensure that their union would be sanctified and that they would commit to remaining with this one partner throughout their lives.  If an act was regarded as sinful, and was not accounted for and repented during their lifetime, this would be passed on to future generations.  The consequences of such an unpunished act could be visited on the heads of the children between four to seven generations later.

 

In pre-arranged marriages, the two sets of parents would meet to consider possible linkages between the two families and whether they were related.  They would have to be unrelated at least five generations apart so that the blood would remain strong.  Young people were advised to find a partner to whom they weren’t related.  If a young man had an interest in the young woman, he would make this interest known to her parents.  They could then determine if the families were related before considering him as a possible son-in-law.

 

Courting activities would occur as the sun set each evening.  The young man would usually, at a distance and in front of the dwelling of the young woman, come near.  She would advance towards him, making her interest known if that were the case, and they would have a short communication.  This was done in front of the entire camp.  The young boy would have a blanket that was used to draw over their heads so they could share some private moments together.  If the girl showed interest, the boy would go out and perform a special deed of bravery or some other act to affirm his intent.

 

Amongst the Plains Cree, the boy might round up a herd of horses that he would lead, singing, through the village and present to the father of his bride-to-be.  This was a formal proposal, a token of respect given to the girl’s parents.  It was never seen as a payment for the girl.  The young boy honored the parents and showed this respect by presenting them with this generous gift.  Preparations would then be made for marriage.

 

Commentary by Almine:

Between the Sioux and Assiniboine, certain flute melodies would be played in the vicinity of the young woman in hopes of attracting her attention.  These melodies were associated with courtship.  If she ignored the young man, he pursued this no further and did not produce gifts.

 

The tradition was for young people to meet halfway between his family’s teepee and her family’s teepee.  Their use of a blanket for some privacy was considered acceptable behavior within the indigenous society.

 

Regarding the arrangements of marriage amongst the indigenous people, this varied from strict parents enforcing their choice to very lenient parents who permitted their daughter every right to choose for herself.  She would usually communicate this to her mother, who had a very strong influence on the father.  The father would then choose to accept or not accept the young man’s gifts.  In most instances, however, children were raised to be very obedient to their parents, so the daughter seldom challenged arrangements for her marriage by her parents.

 

In some rare instances, a couple might elope because a young man did not have enough horses to give or because the parents continued to enforce another unwanted suitor.  In a case where the daughter eloped with the man of her choice, they would usually sneak off to another camp where he had relatives to accept them.  After establishing themselves firmly as a married couple and creating their own lodge, they would eventually be welcomed back among her people.

 

Indigenous men were able to take more than one wife.  Even being permitted to do so, the indigenous peoples never indulged in this practice to feed promiscuous tendencies or for the sake of self-importance, as is sometimes seen in other cultures that practice polygamy.  The reason behind this tradition was that many men lost their lives in battle with enemy tribes or by defending their traditional hunting grounds.  It was essential for the propagation of the tribe that the women, who often outnumbered the men, bring forth a new generation to strengthen the population.

 

Widows left with children and women yet unmarried would lose prospective husbands.  Friends of those slain or relatives such as cousins would feel it was their duty to take the widows as wives, together with her children, into their own lodge.  The number of wives a man was allowed depended entirely upon his ability to provide for them.

 

Indigenous people did not abuse this system.  Usually very prominent chiefs would have the greatest number of wives.  Chief Piapot had five wives, as did the great Chief Starblanket.  However, fewer wives were the norm.

 

The first wife always retained her seniority and had a special place in the lodge – the traditional wedding being held only for her.   The second wife’s entry into the lodge was treated far less exuberantly.  She and other wives were considered helpers and were often taken from amongst the first wife’s sisters.  It was assumed that, as sisters, the wives were already used to living in the same teepee and would get along.

 

Indigenous women always had first right to the teepee for themselves and their children.  If the husband was unfit in any way, harsh or cruel, they had the right to put his possessions out of the teepee and retain ownership of it.  In a world where survival was paramount, this kind of divorce was very rare.  Under these circumstances, the husband would find himself living in the lodge for bachelors and single men, called the warrior’s lodge.

 

Fidelity between a husband and a wife was generally maintained through humiliation.  If a wife was unfaithful, the consequences could be very severe.  In most instances the husband would physically drag her to the middle of camp with the people assembled and push her away, publicly stating that he did not want her anymore.

 

Similarly, if a man used a woman without intending to make her his wife, the family would demand justice.  This insidious undermining within the community would come under the jurisdiction of the warriors of the tribe, and they would be responsible for shaming him publicly by destroying all his personal property and cutting up his teepee.  After a given period of time, the community members would all come together to restore that which had been destroyed, and a community healing would take place.

 

Traditional people survived well for thousands of years because of not accumulating excess and respecting the environment and each other.  When we take more than we need, we deplete both the environment and ourselves.  They understood this.